@Muath_tu: I believe in "you're stupid" at first sight.
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@thenoahkinsey: When you don't even acknowledge I held a door open for you, I want to pull you back inside by your neck, and say "now let's try this again."
@panmidwest: GF: just FYI, my dad teaches at the Naval Academy [meeting her parents] ME: [lifting up shirt] does my belly button look weird to you?
@MumsieEsq: Tweets are like your children: you love them all at first, you never know how they’ll age, and most of them you regret creating.