@Muath_tu: I believe in "you're stupid" at first sight.
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@dave_cactus: [at my dad's funeral after he drowns] ME: *places a wreath made of a life preserver on the coffin* It's what he would have wanted...
@iinkedZombie: My daughter wanted a Cinderella themed birthday party, so I invited All of her Friends over and made them clean the house.
@Breadery: I taught my daughter to whistle a few days ago and now I'm teaching her that whistling can lead to adoption.