@RadOrDie: I bet a lot more people would read the Bible if it was called The Adventures of Jesus and Friends.
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@Coastiefish: You think God hates crosses? If my kid died on a roller coaster, then everyone started wearing roller coaster necklaces, I'd be pissed.
@TheTweetOfGod: Journalists love covering Lindsay Lohan because what she is to actresses, they are to professions.
@theevilwriter: Getting married lost its appeal as soon as I figured out that acquiring a maid of honor wasn't going to get my floors washed.
@AimeeHelene1: Friend: Who's that? Me: Oh...that's crazy Kathy. F: Why do you call her that? Is she funny or something? Me: No. She eats hair.