@KenJennings: I bet a lot of people have tried that "See you next year!" joke at the end of December but got proven wrong by dying in a DUI.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@newcastlecourt: Jimmy Bathwater, 27 of Howdon, pleaded guilty to roundhousing a seagull out the sky. He was fined £300 despite how impressive that sounds
@AtticusFinch79: [parking lot in the 80's] *man appears to be having a heart attack* MY GRANDMA: calm down everyone, i know VCR ME: that's great, grandma. now he can record the shows he's missing when he's dead
@Social_Mime: When I was a kid I thought 40 was really really old and now I've discovered I was right.