@bridger_w: I bet Adam and Eve loved being the first people cuz they didn't have to worry about ghosts
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@online_shawn: Pardon the mess, the dog startled me and I threw my shrimp scampi into the ceiling fan
@QuietPsycho: HR: know why you're here? Me: I put my tongue in the candy cutter Union: well..unsafe..but fired? HR: the candy cutter's name is Trish
@ObscureGent: My favorite act of vengeance is befriending your dad and convincing him that dread locks would look cool on him.