@TheMichaelRock: I bet aliens would visit us more if Will Smith didn't punch them in the head as soon as they got here.
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@BareChesty: 911: What's your emergency? Me: Hunting accident. I think my friend is dead 911: Can you verify that he's dead? *gunshot* Me: Yep, he's dead
@shariv67: Boy, your name must be Adobe cuz when you call me up for a date, I say "Ask me again later."
@causticbob: I was feeling very depressed the other week. I went to my psychiatrist and told him I was suicidal. He asked me to pay in advance.
@notalogin: Morpheus: take the blue pill, the story ends. Take the red pill, I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes Dog: (staring at gray pills) Crap