@TheMichaelRock: I bet all this shit started because someone told Trump he couldn't be president and Trump said "hold my beer, watch this"
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@SleazySli: What do you get when you cross a Centaur with a Minotaur? Cinnaminotaur. The most delicious of all mythological creatures.
@TheTweetOfGod: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Santa." "Santa who?" "Santa who has to use the door because you left your fireplace burning, jackass."
@trojansauce: *drinks milkshake* *runs to yard* *sifts through all the boys* *sighs* *puts up more posters for missing son*
@rickolantern: Went to my niece's elementary school field day last week. I won every single event. Every. Single. Event.