@kumailn: "I bet all those murders are done by that hooded guy whose always running around rooftops w 17 weapons on him."-Nobody in Assassin's Creed
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@katiefzack: I dress like a murderer when I walk through the sketchy park outside my dorm so murderers will be like "Oh she's cool she's one of us."
@dafloydsta: [job interview] "Name one of your strengths" I didn't stab anyone today "That's not-" Yesterday wasn't so good tho
@shanethevein: If you go into a bar by yourself and ask for a water the bartender looks at you like you have leprosy.