@kumailn: "I bet all those murders are done by that hooded guy whose always running around rooftops w 17 weapons on him."-Nobody in Assassin's Creed
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@iinkedZombie: 5: Mommy said I'm a big boy and can't sleep in her bed anymore Me [sleeping on couch] she's right son
@Bearslietoo: A good sign that you're not ready for children is if you cut your food with a credit card.
@UncleDuke1969: Frankenstein: Master go fishing? Igor: Yes. F: Master take worms? I: Yes. F: Master put on hook? I: Yup. F: Hehe...Master ba- I: Just don't.