@JennyJohnsonHi5: I bet at least ONE of Leonardo DiCaprio's friends has called him Leotard. Probably Mark Wahlberg...
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@TheTweetOfGod: Sounds like @rickygervais is an arachnophobe, and you know what that means: Deep down inside, he's a spider.
@CelebrityChez: I've found that it's almost impossible to explain to a stranger why you are following them around trying to put egg rolls in their pockets.
@nerdreign: Courtney Love thinks she found the plane. It's like God doesn't trust us to write our own jokes.
@thepunningman: "So how are the anger management classes?" We have to crochet stuff when we get mad "Sounds stupid" [I furiously make a beautiful cardigan]