@Tw1tter_K1tten: I bet cats are sad that they don't have a middle finger.
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@notacroc: WIFE: don't be weird at the party tonight ME: am i ever weird? [dinner party] CHERYL: how's the soup taste? ME: like the blood of my enemies
@Sassafrantz: Saw a couple wearing surgical masks in public and all I could think was "what do they know that I don't?"
@JermHimselfish: I've never been put in the "friend" zone, but I have been put in the "please don't tell my friend's" zone.
@Tmoney68: If really good-looking people are "eye candy" I guess that puts me somewhere around the "eye broccoli" category.