@rolldiggity: I bet chickens have mixed emotions about Thanksgiving, because they're safe for a day, but why aren't they good enough for a holiday meal?
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@GoldenSpirals: My sister texted and asked if she and her kids could come over, and now I'm frantically looking for a new place to live.
@causticbob: Illegal immigration is not a new problem. Native Americans used to call it "White People"
@ArfMeasures: [Cocktail bar] WAITER: Ok, what are you having? DATE: The worst night of my life ME: [scanning menu] haha what a name to give a cocktail