@rolldiggity: I bet chickens have mixed emotions about Thanksgiving, because they're safe for a day, but why aren't they good enough for a holiday meal?
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@Marcmywords2: That awkward moment when the Priest uses YOUR confession as the theme for his sermon. Again.
@mattytalks: Girl are you a University of Phoenix degree because I'm pursuing you online and from my couch
@sofarrsogud: KID:Dad what's the difference between a gerbil and a rat DAD WHO IS A MAFIA BOSS:A gerbil sleeps in a cage and a rat sleeps with the fishes
@Bizarro_Mark: The guy blaring the self help CD at the red light in the rusted car with no bumpers wasn't amused when I said, "I don't think it's working"