@errdayhustlah: I bet Columbus was super pissed when he rolled up in the Santa María only to find Dora had already explored America.
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@blaudiablogan: It is truly easier to forgive your enemies than figure out how to limit their access to your facebook page.
@Paxochka: People who say "life doesn't come with a set of instructions" obviously haven't heard of the Kama Sutra.
@jlock17: I've stopped texting "K" and started texting "L" instead so I don't have to reach so far over with my thumb.
@Ophelia_808: I'm starting to think the guy offering to check for lumps inside his van was not as legit as his cardboard certificate claimed.