@TheWoodenslurpy: I bet dogs at parties get tired of being singled out by socially awkward humans.
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@MythicPicnic: Bought a new exercise program Instructions said to stop if I felt any discomfort So I did
@TySmithdrums: Imagine a drunk porcupine trying to sneak into bed without waking his porcupine wife but his porcupine wife put balloons everywhere.
@patrickoriley: It's weird to think there was a time when the most data a tablet could hold was five commandments.
@ahuj9: Hello is this HP? I'd like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet and you sent me a printer.