@IamEnidColeslaw: I bet every time Beyoncé leaves a restaurant everyone fights over who gets to smell her chair
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@Dawn_M_: Kinda rude the way this hedgehog is running away from me when I'm trying to stick cheese on his spikes.
@david8hughes: [interrogation] "How do u kno the deceased?" I was his drug dealer. "Louder for the tape?" [leans in] I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs.
@MelKassel: 1 rabbit can make 1,000+ babies in its life DATE: how do you know that *shouting over deafening hopping sounds from the attic* INTERNET