@AndyAsAdjective: I bet every time Vanilla sets his razor down on the bathroom sink, he looks up in the mirror, rubs his newly smooth face & says "Shaved Ice"
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@LMHPhotog: Asked a librarian for a book about Pavlov's dog & Schrödinger's cat. She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.
@The_No_Show: "DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!" he screamed at his phone. Everyone else on the train hugged their phones a bit closer.
@Coastiefish: You think God hates crosses? If my kid died on a roller coaster, then everyone started wearing roller coaster necklaces, I'd be pissed.
@0point5twins: QUESTIONS YOU CAN ANSWER BY PEEING ON THINGS: 1. Am I pregnant? 2. Does my boss have a very forgiving nature?