@causticbob: I bet if Aquaman and Jesus had a fight, Jesus would walk all over him.
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@KeetPotato: [paddling along the amazon silently in a kayak] wife: "it's so beautiful" me: "can you believe they named this after a website?"
@bdbdleeroybrown: Tampon commercials create an unrealistic expectation of how much fun it is to be around menstruating women.
@jwoodham: As a white man, it's hard to deal with the fact that I have a far greater chance of becoming a serial killer than I do of becoming a rapper.