@causticbob: I bet if Aquaman and Jesus had a fight, Jesus would walk all over him.
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@jwoodham: It's oddly fitting that most Americans celebrate Presidents' Day by taking the day off and not doing the job they were hired to do.
@weinerdog4life: I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never, oh you knocked me down again, you are being very rude
@LoveNLunchmeat: Twitter is great for when you really want life advice, but from people who do cocaine for breakfast.
@GodDammitDanny: To the guy who just followed me with "Conservative, God-loving, pro-life" in his bio... are you sure you want to do this?