@Stellacopter: I bet if you walked up to any table at a restaurant and said "Good afternoon folks" they will let you take their order.
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@beefman138: I have done about 300 crunches for my new exercise routine. 299 of them are Nestlé.
@AndyAsAdjective: Just said "No you can't have an apple because you'll spoil the pizza that's being delivered very soon." I shouldn't be allowed to parent.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: My white cat has been beating up my black cat a lot lately so I guess he's been reading the news and knows he won't get punished for it.
@WilliamAder: Whoever gets the gift from me that has scissors under the wrapping paper, I'm going to need those back.