@SortaBad: I bet kangaroos get drunk and find some ridiculous shit in their pouches in the morning.
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@TheIronSherk: Working front desk at Motel 6 wasn't paying the bills so I started dealing meth to the housekeepers. It was an Inn side job.
@kwirkyKerri: The spider I let live in my kitchen is letting the bugs run amok. No free rides! Your days are numbered missy.
@BlindChow: (1:35pm) God: Yo Abraham (1:37pm) Abe: sup (1:38pm) God: Need u to kill ur son (1:42pm) Abe: k (4:02pm) God: jk lol (4:10pm) God: u there?
@clarkekant: Obama says he’s pro-vaccine, GOP comes out against it. Now Obama needs to express his support for breathing.