@OhNoSheTwitnt: I bet Lance Armstrong is smugly saying "at least I didn't kill anybody" to like every person he sees today.
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@BuckyIsotope: *shows up to date with broken nose* "What happened?" Hurt myself playing football "How?" Threw the controller at a wall and it bounced back
@Sickayduh: I'm gonna strap a snowblower on my roof and start driving south. When someone asks me what it is, that's where I'm gonna live.