@DepecheALAmode: I bet Matt McConaughey isnt aware he's in movies. His agent drops him off & hes like "Ha-Allright..this is my life now? Cool camera broski!"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JDBooie: The best part about Whole Foods is if you ask for a bag the cashier will look at you like you drowned a baby giraffe with your bare hands
@WineMummy: Cop: Tell me again why you pulled out scissors and gave her bangs. Me: She was flirting with a hot dad that I had my eye on.
@JustDontBugMe: [at 10pm] ME: MOOOOMMMMMM!!! MOM: *frantically* WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED!!? ME: Could you wash these jeans? MOM: what have I told you about laundry after 9pm? ME: oh, right. DAAAADDDDDD!!!
@dafloydsta: [date] HER: Silence of the Lambs is my favorite movie. ME: Oh me too. HER: Which part do you like best? ME: *sweating* Um, when the lambs stop talking.