@EugeneMirman: I bet Melania Trump really regrets buying a speech off Craigslist now.
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@jimmytorosian: Good cop: We know it was you. Just confess. Murderer: I didn't do nothin' Breaks the fourth wall cop: Your name in this tweet is Murderer.
@ibid78: [math teacher] your homework looks like chicken scratch, but you got them all correct [later at home] I think she's on to us, mathmachicken