@markydoodoo: I bet my doctor wasn't expecting to say "Sir, that is not a toy" so many times today.
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@JaySuch: When I see someone texting and driving I swerve my car into them and try to run them off the road cause texting and driving is illegal.
@somewhatalady: "Everyone says they're voting for Clinton or Trump, but I'm voting for Regina George because she got hit by a bus."
@djdarrellripley: Me: You're so selfish! Her: I'm selfless! I spent the last 4 weekends giving back to my community. Me: Oh Please, that was court-ordered..
@BradBroaddus: Our mailman freaked out when he accidentally saw me naked. So did all the other people at the post office.