@noog: I bet no one's had as many concussions as the guy who invented nunchucks.
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@staceys55: Police: "You were going fast." Me: "I was trying to keep up with traffic." Police: "There isn't any." Me: "That's how far behind I am!"
@JohnLyonTweets: The movie Speed, except this bus driver apparently thinks we'll blow up if he goes over 15 mph.
@shariv67: Why do they even bother calling him 007, when the first thing he does is introduce himself using his REAL NAME?