@noog: I bet no one's had as many concussions as the guy who invented nunchucks.
@Jubafisher: If you're bored, wear a cape. Then you can be Super Bored
@peteholmes: just saw Gravity. excuse me while I go hug the earth.
@UrMindBlown: What if im actually attractive and hot girls just think im out of their league?
@shutupmikeginn: I wish I were an octopus so that the answer to all of my problems would be, 'change color and escape in a cloud of ink'
@NikkiGlaser: I held a baby today. I was scared it would make me want a baby, but it just made me want to be a baby.