@noog: I bet no one's had as many concussions as the guy who invented nunchucks.
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@Tommytoughstuff: THERAPIST: How does that make you feel? ME: "Mphh mophh wampph." T: Again, this works better if you don't lie face down on the couch.
@Ideal_Victoria: Me: *scratches another tally mark into these prison walls* Boss: stop damaging the office walls!
@WheelTod: If I'm guilty of anything it's only of loving too much, insider trading, public indecency, treason, arson, jaywalking, piracy & cannibalism.