@youngestneil: I bet parents get annoyed when their kids ask "are we there yet?" when they're fully aware they now live in a car
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@GrantTanaka: Mom: I HEARD UR SICK Me: just a cold Mom: U HAVE THE ZIKA M: no I- Mom: OH GOD IT'S ZIKA M: mom- Mom: I TRIED TO RAISE U RIGHT M: wait, what
@jakob_huber: Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they looked.
@moist_jeff: *Young Jesus plays with food* Mary: you're not playing until you finish your bread and fish! *ugh* *touches food* *it multiplies* NOOOOOO!!!
@Brampersandon_: BOSS: Ok so far so good. But before we finish the interview I'm gonna have you take a typing test. LOBSTER: *looking down at claws* Shit