@youngestneil: I bet parents get annoyed when their kids ask "are we there yet?" when they're fully aware they now live in a car
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@hellohappy_time: This kid was such a psycho, I told him his food was an airplane and he willingly ate it not questioning all the living passengers aboard.
@NOTVIKING: dentist: you need to- me: i need to floss more? dentist: no, you need to get out of my house. it’s 2:30am me: [muffled behind ski mask] tooth hurty a.m.
@KalvinMacleod: *hires skywriter Will you take me back if I stop wasting our money on frivolous things?
@seriouslyamy: 3 days ago I put a sign on my door that said "I'll be back in 20 minutes". Nobody has bothered me since and I'm never taking it down.