@JennyJohnsonHi5: I bet Pope Benedict will appear on Celebrity Rehab this season.
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@markleggett: Approach a woman in a bar and whisper "Hey, wanna get out of here?" If she says yes, you can sit where she was.
@RobinMcCauley: Can't stop thinking about really disturbing things today, like what if they had called him Illinois Jones.
@TheToddWilliams: [boxing match] ANNOUNCER: ...and the challenger weighing 8lbs 7oz, Billy "The Baby" Sanchez CHAMP: That's a real baby TRAINER: You got this
@wicce_podge: Hate to be nosey, people in the hallway, but you're too effing loud and yes, that mole should be looked at.