@Smethanie: I bet Ryan Gosling doesn't even blow his candles out. He probably just winks at them and they faint.
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@JPHaddadio: Last year I ate out alone on Valentine's Day. To avoid embarrassment, I yacked the whole time with a lovely couple the next table over.
@Vodkantots: "How much for the supermodel?" *winks seductively "Ma'am, that's a mirror and you appear to be having a stroke."
@Darlainky: *slips cheat map to my favorite nephew for the annual Easter egg hunt* Now remember, I get half the take.
@mydanimarie: Kind of cruel how preschool and the Muffin Man teach girls that they might one day find a guy made entirely out of muffins.