@JulieSnark: I bet Seal is terrified of shark week.
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@JermHimselfish: Me: And then, for absolutely no reason, they changed the stars to hearts! We were all so mad Syrian Refugee: omg please send me back
@BadJordon: ME [struggling]: skinny jeans, skinny jeans, let me in SCARED DENIM: don't come back till you're thinny, thin, thin
@viciousbabydoll: This is an example of the shit I text my kid. I know, I know. Mom of the Year material right here.