@JasonLastname: I bet the best massage in the world is getting attacked by a toothless shark.
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@better_off_dad: Me: Alexa, are you listening even when I don't say 'Alexa'? Alexa: No, I only listen when you say 'Alexa'. M: Thanks A: Welcome M: Hey!
@Underchilde: If hearing “I love you” was enough, we’d all buy parrots and live happily ever after.
@rickkondell: The best part about pooping with the bathroom door open in the morning is being able to see everyones face at Starbucks.