@FredPollack: I bet the first mohawk was created by a guy trying to even out his sideburns.
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@mooturkey: I used a fax machine today!! I also ran all the cotton thru the gin and plowed the field with my oxen while it finished dialing up.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: How dilated is she? Nurse: 4 centimeters. Me: This is America. Nurse: 0.000198838 furlongs.
@SNStone: Husband for sale: 1972 model, white in colour, a bit hard on gas but comes with a spare tire.
@primawesome: Oatmeal shouldn't get to have the word "meal" in it. How about oatsnack? Or oatbullshit?