@Sickayduh: I bet the guy who invented fake dog shit was upset the name "shampoo" was taken
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@DannyZuker: If a mass murderer on death row ordered a Klondike Bar for his last meal I bet it would explain a lot.
@Marcmywords2: Someone called me yesterday and said, "Hello, is this Ross" I said " no it's Chandler" And they hung up. So much for trying to be Friends.
@OneTrickTofani: [At Wedding] Priest: And do you take me as your lawfully wedded wife? Me: I do. WAIT A SECOND Priest: TOO LATE. YOU'RE MINE NOW, IDIOT.