@arandomhim: I bet the guy who invented the percent symbol, %, got his inspiration from watching his wife put on a seatbelt
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@WORIDSTARHIPH0P: "barack please don't leave me with them" "joe you're leaving when I leave" "oh right lmao love u"
@Sassafrantz: *rises out of neighbor's hot tub* I'd like to talk to you guys about home alarm systems...
@tastefactory: Hey water enhancer company, you could have made your pineapple flavor literally any other color.