@TheMichaelRock: I bet the murder rate is so low in Canada because you have to go 300 miles to find someone to kill.
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@maxlavergne: 100% per cent of survey respondents said: help us get out of this tall tree. we didn't know this survey involved being stuck in a tree
@ericsshadow: [talking to son on the phone] "I ran away 3 weeks. You never called the police" I'm sorry. We've been very busy with the holidays and all.
@lecalabara: Mario: I killed all your turtle troops.Bowser: Turtle what?Mario: All the turtles that work for you.Bowser: What turtles?Mario: Uh oh...