@TheMichaelRock: I bet the murder rate is so low in Canada because you have to go 300 miles to find someone to kill.
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@theshamingofjay: If you jump through the hole in a hipster's earlobe you get transported to a SIMS game where the only people are Harry Potter characters
@Douchekevin: Anyone who says 'they wish they could be a fly on the wall' has clearly never been attacked by a woman with a rolled up newspaper.
@mybigblondelife: If they just built prisons out of the shit they package electronics in, no one would ever escape.
@awkwardphilippe: ME[David Attenborough voice] Starting with the outer layers he'll devour the entire carcass HER: are you narrating yourself eating lasagna?