@TheMichaelRock: I bet the murder rate is so low in Canada because you have to go 300 miles to find someone to kill.
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@Eagle_Vision: My wife is gorgeous, selfless, amazing, highly intelligent and looking over my shoulder as I type.
@shegotagronk: You know you drank too much last night when you have to use google maps to locate yourself the next morning.
@PeaceInTruth1: Coworker: Stop Me: collaborate and listen Coworker: Don't Me: you forget about me Coworker: Hey! Me: teacher, leave them kids alone
@robfee: No matter how lazy you feel, just remember that Goldilocks decided to take a nap during a b&e.