@iRowlf: I bet the skeletons, in my gay coworker's closet, are having a dress up party with fabulous clothes.
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@LilBlueBlood: Mom: Want to come over for dinner? Me: No thanks, already ate Mom: What did you have? Me: Peanut butter Mom: With? Me: Spoon
@causticbob: BBC:when a women is attracted to a man, she speaks in a higher pitch than normal That explains why every woman I talk to sounds like Batman
@max_pad21: Patient: "How much longer do I have doc? Doctor: "Ten." Patient: "Ten what?" Doctor: "Nine..."
@DumbConfessions: Relationship status: can't go to the same bar as last night, because I'm wearing the same shirt as last night.