@That_Damn_Duck: I bet the women who only tweet about sex are probably some of the nicest men you’ll ever meet in person.
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@grimpossible: If you fall down in public the best thing to do is stay down, use your fingernails to dig your way to another country then start a new life.
@EJGomez: sucks to be a bad guy in the teenage mutant ninja turtle world like "who stopped u" "turtles" "huh" "no they were like faster than normal"
@leehopkins: Anti-gay preacher comes to Iceland. Locals buy all tickets to his event in Reykjavik, and then don't turn up, leaving empty arena. Class.
@DirtMcTurd: Just reported a car stolen because the people inside are black and the stick figures on the window were white