@That_Damn_Duck: I bet the women who only tweet about sex are probably some of the nicest men you’ll ever meet in person.
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@megankcomedy: I like to eat spaghetti with my hands so people don't even have to ask how I'm doing
@joejwest: MAGICIAN: Think of a horse ME: Ok MAGICIAN: You thinking of one? ME: Yep MAGICIAN: Cool right? ME: Very cool
@NoogsCorner: Women just want to make us better men, not drain our life essence. And sharks are just trying to kiss us but their teeth get in the way.