@Writethatdown12: I bet the worst thing about being abducted is the whole country knows your real weight.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Tmoney68: My dancing style can best be described as "Guy On Maury Who Just Found Out He Isn't The Father."
@VodkaDietSoda: The second I sense someone about to ask for a bite of what I'm eating, I immediately shove the whole damn thing in my mouth & look baffled.
@TheMichaelRock: I always bring in a dozen donuts to work the first day after the New Year, just for my coworkers on a diet.
@Be___Dope: Her: You like shopping? Me: Oh god yes! Her: What's your favorite place? Me: The grocery store. There is a whole aisle of just cheese!