@Writethatdown12: I bet the worst thing about being abducted is the whole country knows your real weight.
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@KentWGraham: It costs over $235,000 for parents to raise a child today. And that's just for the alcohol.
@bea_ker: [date slides her top down her shoulder to show me a scar] I got this surfing [I show her my grotesque balls] I was born like this I think
@mexinonblonde: You're a big fat liar! And I don't believe anything you say! See if I get naked for you again!! -Me to my scale as I step off of it
@robdelaney: How did SkyMall go bankrupt? I bought all my wife's birthday presents there before she left me.