@Writethatdown12: I bet the worst thing about being abducted is the whole country knows your real weight.
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@causticbob: I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It's true. After going to the gym earlier I've decided I'm never going again.
@HatfieldAnne: Thank you Internet stranger for your honorable proposal of marriage. My folks are so excited. They're asking for Thanksgiving and Easter.
@david8hughes: A black James Bond? Wouldn't work. He'd be pulled over every 15 minutes for driving an Aston Martin.
@madeleinedoux: "the pizza boy is here" It's time, I thought, cocking my shotgun. I was sending this half pizza half man abomination straight back to hell