@TheAlexNevil: I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo.
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@ThisCantBRight: I don't condone workplace violence, until someone microwaves fish in the break room.
@ehchino: [First date] So what do you do for a living? "I'm a florist" WHY DON'T YOU LIKE THE FLOOR? WHAT HAS IT DONE TO YOU, IS IT BECAUSE IT'S LAVA?
@NicestHippo: [guy who named the bedroom gets home] Honey? Our son got in trouble at the learnroom. His teacher called while I was driving in my wheelsbox