@TheTalkingPipe: I bet those 300 Greek soldiers would have stood a better chance if they thought to wear armor instead of going to war in capes & speedos.
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@ArfMeasures: [Bank] ROBBER: Look, as long as everyone is cool, no-one will die *I walk in* ROBBER [picks up gun] well, guess what, everyone
@PaperWash: [in ambulance after being shot] can we [coughs blood] stop at Taco Bell? "Don't be stupid! [turns around while driving] of course we can"
@SCbchbum: I wouldn’t mind being catcalled if it were useful: “Hey baby, boot sale at Macy’s!” or, “Line’s shorter at Starbucks on 5th, sweet cheeks!”
@Home_Halfway: CHEF: You're fired ME: Is it cause I call beef patty's "beef patricias?" CHEF: Yes ME: Can I have some Switzerland cheese bef- CHEF: GET OUT