@TheTalkingPipe: I bet those 300 Greek soldiers would have stood a better chance if they thought to wear armor instead of going to war in capes & speedos.
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@LuckoftheDraw86: In a room full of idiots screaming their opinions at the top of their lungs, be the guy in the corner doing finger guns with his reflection.
@ThatRascalPuff: Wanna be like jesus, walk on a cucumber, its 98% water, so you're 98% jesus
@Cheeseboy22: Just purchased one of those wigs that lawyers in England wear to put on when I have an argument with my wife.
@chuuew: [pulled over] COP: Did you know you were speeding? ME: I didn't even know I was driving COP: Out
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