@ilovepie84: I bet when David Hasselhoff gets too drunk he roams the streets screaming "KITT!" When he can't find his car.
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@daemonic3: [grocery shopping] "Actually it should be 15 items or FEWER" I'll fix that sir [grabs mic] CUSTOMER NEEDS HELP FINDING EXTRA SMALL CONDOMS
@imence2: This guys talking about "Calm down, everything happens for a reason". Then he gets all angry when I punch him in the face. What a hypocrite.
@Fickle_Filly: Me: I'm going shopping. Him: If you buy more than one pair of shoes I'm divorcing you. Me: Deal!
@StayNobody: [Drug deal] How do I know you're not a cop -If I was a cop would I do this? *Starts breakdancing* Thats not as much proof as you think it is