@ilovepie84: I bet when David Hasselhoff gets too drunk he roams the streets screaming "KITT!" When he can't find his car.
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@ANNIEwayyyy: Sorry I thought your older sister was your daughter and then made everyone else at the restaurant guess your age.
@eeethanford: Son have I told you about the birds & the bees? Dad you're an ornithologist & moms an entomologist it's literally all you guys talk about
@kimmie_1980: Level of singleness: yelling, "pizza's here!" So the delivery man doesn't think all the pizza is just for me...
@KeetPotato: would you like to come on our quiz show? you could win £2,000,000? [imagines spending the entire show standing up] "no thanks"