@BrandonVine: I bet when Kanye was little he played tag by himself, then argued with himself on whether he was tagged or not.
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@Ty_Schutz: I like to leave odd yelp reviews for fast food restaurants that say things like, "Not overly racist."
@WheelTod: In the street today, an unattractive woman asked for my number, so I gave her a fake. Still feel a bit guilty, as I'd just totaled her car.
@GrillinChillin9: Eve: I think we should see other people. Adam: There's other people here? Eve: No. A: What the... E: Sshh! Don't make this difficult.
@DomBorrett: Christmas is becoming more and more commercialised every year. Pushing up prices in every sector This tweet is brought to you by Tesco