@DurtMcHurtt: I bet Yoda was pretty hot before he turned into an old Asian lady.
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@VerifiedJayy: When a guy tries to talk to me while at a urinal I instantly slide over and start pissing in his urinal too. See how friendly he really is
@TheCatWhisprer: No amount of college can prepare you for how angry you'll get at the way people park in the real word.
@CountGripsnatch: *maintains eye contact with coworker while licking a yogurt lid for seventeen minutes*