@DurtMcHurtt: I bet Yoda was pretty hot before he turned into an old Asian lady.
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@Sarcasticsapien: If life were a romantic comedy I would be the guy on a date with the girl when the male lead makes his grand gesture that wins her back.
@AndyAsAdjective: [at checkout counter] Would ya like to donate $1 to- -No But you didn't let me finish -Is it $1 toward you shutting your mouth? No -Then no
@SwedishCanary: Based on the amount of laundry I did today I have to assume there are people living in this house I haven't met yet.