@Savage_Scavange: I bet you 5390.24$ you can't guess how much money I owe my parents.
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@RobDenBleyker: If a woman asks you to guess her age, always subtract 10 years from your estimate. IMPORTANT: Do NOT do this if she's in her early twenties.
@ShutUpThatsWho: [walking on beach] [find bottle with message in it] Message: IS YOUR FRIDGE RUNNING? [another bottle with message washes against my feet]
@simoncholland: You could make dinner for a toddler, or you could just cut out the middle man & throw away a plate of food and squirt ketchup on the dog.
@causticbob: I've been attending Acronym Anonymous meetings recently. Or as I like to call it AA. I'm not making a lot of progress.