@TurnpikeTony: I better fix the hinge on this cabinet door before Ryan Gosling comes over, takes his shirt off and builds my lady a house.
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@_Water_Baby: Endless love does not extend to my root beer float. That second straw is decorative.
@TheToddWilliams: The sentence, “The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog.” uses every letter of the alphabet and is also very judgmental about the dog.
@natechartier1: *creating garbage cans* God: "That's where trash goes" *creating my twitter* God: "That's where trash comes from"