@williamwanton: I blame 2 of my 3 DUIs on Jesus because I specifically told him to take the wheel
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@DougStanhope: I'm watching a guy on tv who makes a living simply by having opinions about hockey wondering which one of us is the bigger pile of shit.
@uccjeb: When I see 18 wheelers carrying something covered with a tarp, I just assume that it's an injured Transformer.
@JeannieG40: Relationship status: Sitting in Home Depot parking lot, car hood open, and asking men if they can jump me.