@DurtMcHurtt: I blink one eye at a time because flying squirrels can attack at any moment.
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@shadygrenade: *ransom note on gun* [1 million dollars by Friday or I shoot your daughter. No exceptions] [ps please mail gun back it's my only one]
@jimmytorosian: A lawyer walks into a bar. A lawyer leaves the bar. A lawyer walks into the bar. A lawyer fails the bar because he was drunk.
@Cravin4: Folks are worried about global warming and social security, when the real crisis is that one day elderly drivers will know how to text.