@briangaar: I blow-dried my hair, now it looks like the mane of a majestic lion who is really good at video games
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@AllyBallyBeal: Do not mess with bears. You'll be their victim. Yogi Bear wears clothes. Where did he get his clothes? That's right - a victim
@carlyken: Kids, in my day we didn't have text messaging. We had to write a "Do you like me? Yes or no?" note and pass it through 17 mutual friends.
@LindseyEllison2: If I ever go to prison I will immediately go up to the biggest person and tickle them.
@GlennyRodge: "My dog's learning to speak a foreign language." "Español?" "No, he's a labrador."