@serialmatrix: I bought a Christmas tree today. The guy asked me if I was going to put it up myself.I said, "No, I'll probably put it in the living room."
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@stevefrigley: Just recorded my boss yelling at someone on the phone. Guess who has a new ringtone.
@ChipKellysBalls: Jehovah's Witnesses door-to-door success rate would be a lot higher if they partnered up with the Girl Scouts & started selling cookies ...
@deegeemindi: My six year old lost a tooth. I left a note instead of money "too dirty." He has been brushing that one tooth all day. Lesson unlearned
@tastefactory: Hey u should give your secret boss this Coke. *bottle says "Share a Coke w/ the Drug Maker Guy"* *undercover cop's fake mustache falls off*