@jordanklepper: I bought a dog so I wouldn't feel creepy picking up poop off the sidewalk
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@EtobicokeErnie: Watching a cooking show and the host said you can use leftover beer to make battered chicken wings. What the hell is leftover beer?
@Rollinintheseat: I wonder if Mariah Carey knows it's possible to sing a high note without pointing her finger in the air?
@leechee420: Watching a show about women who choose to give birth outside. Like, let's take the most painful experience of my life and add bugs and shit.