@jordanklepper: I bought a dog so I wouldn't feel creepy picking up poop off the sidewalk
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@dril: if youre a healthy young male or female with blood type O, please consider donating a kidney to me. my goal is 22 kidney 's
@SadieSmithRoks: It happens when you least expect it. Your head starts to spin. You lose control and you start falling head over heels. -winter ice/love
@withanewname: *Jesus sits down at the bar* "The boss says we have to start charging you for water"
@roostermustache: Me (in jail): hey officer these bars are made of iron, not nickel Cop: ya so what Me: so it's a nickel-less cage Cop:*macing me* son of a