If bad ads/pop-ups are redirecting you, please take a screenshot and email it to [email protected]. Help us keep the site clean!
@darksidedeb: I bought a metal detector.
Beach better have my money.
@awescar: Captain America outsources much of his crime fighting to Captain India.
@randomover2: If I get bit by a vampire at this age, I'm going to be furious.
@nimble__nick: *At the pearly gates*
St Peter: Welcome to heaven. I'll show you around.
Me: Sooo many oysters must've died to make this gate.
@KalvinMacleod: INTERVIEWER: what’s your greatest strength?
ME: I’m good at untying knots
INTERVIEWER: oh thank god can u get these running shoes off of me?
@Mr_Kapowski: Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer is my favorite song about how to incorrectly deal with the loss of a loved one during the holiday