@TylerLinkin: I bought a used UPS truck. It gets poor gas mileage but I can park anywhere.
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@closetoclassy: Based on the things my kid will and won't eat, my cooking is apparently worse than a stale Fruit Loop covered in dog hair.
@shutupmikeginn: I just walked in on two coworkers crying in a conference room and I was like, "mind if I join?"
@richforri: "I'd kill you if I thought I could get away with it".......things that were said to me during my divorce. Hey guy's, she's available!