@AimeeHelene1: I bought a white bathrobe and splattered it with red paint just to freak out my neighbors when I go get the mail.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@juliussharpe: If Mary Poppins floated in on an umbrella today, they'd shoot her out of the sky with a drone.
@MrsTomServo: Women want men they can fix; men want girls they can save; I want a sandwich that makes itself.
@natkaotic: Those of you who believe everything you read on the internet probably also believe there's hot local singles in your area.
@sulkywhitegirl: I like how my autocorrect changes "hun" to "Hun," like I'm playfully referring to my girlfriends as barbarous 4th-century European nomads.