@AimeeHelene1: I bought a white bathrobe and splattered it with red paint just to freak out my neighbors when I go get the mail.
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@all_about_today: Immortality sounded great when I was 23, but now that I'm 38 it just sounds exhausting.
@MichaelTrying: "Michael just bought a popcorn popper. You know what he probably wants to buy next? *Another* popcorn popper." -Amazon suggestions logic
@cosmicbibi: Research shows your medication is 879% more effective if you drink a 6 pack and a bottle of wine first. Also, I changed my name to Research.