@lazerdoov: I bought "extra whitening" toothpaste and now my teeth are spending a year in Korea teaching English
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: Most of us were taught to never get in cars with strangers, so taxi cabs make absolutely no sense.
@foxnerdrn: If he doesn't sleep with a life-sized replica of you made of human hair and deli meats, he's not as into you as I am.
@DirtMcTurd: I don't need pepper spray to stop a mugger, I just open my wallet and blow the dust in their eyes.
@shariv67: Surfing is a good choice for people who like skateboarding but wish it had more sharks.